Sexy! No no no: Can Naked Attraction’s balls-out attitude be a force for good?
Back for a fifth series, Channel 4’s late-night dating show is becoming more than just a naked novelty It is important to acknowledge that, in Naked Attraction (Wednesdays, 10pm, Channel 4), the producers have created a show designed to make me hold my palms bone-to-the-eyes and shout: “OH, JESUS GOD” whenever literally any second of action happens. Slow reveal of six ancient penises, stirring mutely like naked mole rats dropped on a barber’s shop floor? Oh, Jesus God. Host Anna Richardson turning sideface and saying: “Would you have a go on that?” like a Blue Peter presenter about to get stuck into some PVA glue? Oh, Jesus God. Three naked British people – naked! They have no clothes on! – sincerely praising each other’s bodies, standing there with the casual air of a half-forced smoking area chat, drily saying: “She has lovely boobs”? Oh, Jesus God. When I die I am going to hell, and when I go there I will be met by a file of nude people, every one of them sporting a crotch tattoo slightly overgrown with about four days’ worth of pubic hair, and I’ll have to stare them all in the eyes and go: “Yeah. It’s … interesting. I can see myself … I can definitely see myself going down there.” Every day for ever, until the abyss takes me. Like